Teenagers: The Lockdown Year

The self-help book on “Teenagers: The Lockdown Year,” was never written in time. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would have prepared me for the huge roller-coaster of emotions experienced – mainly by me - over the last 6 months. I have a son who has, in my eyes, coped with the daily disappointment of his thwarted plans exceptionally well. I am proud of his stoicism as he was dealt blow after dashing blow as the weeks went by. From the initial anger of having GSCEs cancelled - his years of hard work seeming so futile now; through disappointment for the cancelled opportunities, overseas trips and work experiences; to having less than 48 hours to say their end of school goodbyes - the end of an era defined by a few air kisses and hurried scribbles on school shirts.

This generation of teenagers have been given one hell of a kick in the teeth. And now with the recent debacle of the grading system of the public exams hanging over them, they, from this day onwards, will subject to the prejudice of being ‘the class of 2020,’ as they encounter future employers and universities dishing out patronising smiles and sympathetic shrugs, as they are reminded again and again that the 2020 results aren’t taken as seriously as other years – ‘as you didn’t actually take an exam did you?’ - as if it is their fault, as if they wanted to be judged on their hard work by a teacher’s personal recommendation or computers that say no. How are they supposed to mentally move onwards and upwards? Six months is a long time to be away from your peers, the boring normality of school, of routine. And god, they are all going to have a shock to the system when life does go back to some kind of ‘normal’… whatever normal is.

With two teens in our household we were prepared for a rocky ride during Lockdown. Much to my amazement, as teenagers go, they have been OK. To date we haven’t had the moods, slamming doors, or the desire to hang out with undesirables. However, the eldest, especially, seems to have forgotten how to function as a member of the human race over the last few months. It’s like he has put his life on pause – why really bother? No-one else seems to be. Finish Duke of Edinburgh? Nah. Not yet. Next year. No-one else is doing it - which I am not sure is strictly true. Don’t get me wrong - he is so laid back he is horizontal, nothing phases him, he is kind and quiet, loyal and loving and just bimbles and bumbles along like a faithful old dog. Which are, actually, lovely qualities. Especially if you are a dog.

But how the hell is he going to be able to launch himself back into education with the enthusiasm and gusto he had a year ago? How will any of them pick themselves up and be expected to be at the level they were? Like finely tuned athletes, it takes hard working kids time and years of practice to get into the rhythm of study and concentration. His brain – as active as it was when he was flat out working towards his end of school exams; has now turned into a mushy paste. He, like the thousands of kids who had their education cocked up by Covid, has gone from being able to hold intelligent conversations and answer quick fire questions; to now just about remembering to brush his teeth twice a day. I am seriously concerned how they are going to cope when they return to school in a few weeks – it’s bad enough when they have had the normal 6-8 week break during the summer – his generation have been left to their own devices for the last 6 months, but will still be expected to return in tip- top condition and perform as if Lockdown hadn’t happened. Give them a break.

And it is not just those who were denied taking public exams this year. What about the years below, where Summer 2021 is to be ‘their year’ educationally? How can they be expected to sit A levels and GSCEs next year, when the vast majority of them have had education denied to them. Are algorithms or teacher ranking supposed to sort these guys out too? And I am not going to even start on the Early Years, where teachers are to be expected to cram in a year of precious missed learning at a vital stage of a child’s development; at the same time trying to stop children hugging, picking their noses and get them to wipe down and wash every twenty seconds. And then get blamed if their grades aren’t up to scratch.

There are going to be a hell of a lot of kids who are going to find it a real struggle to slip off their sliders and tie up their school shoes instead – will they remember how to communicate without a microphone attached to their mouth, or listen to instructions without their obligatory headphones welded to the sides of their heads?? Will they want to join in with daily conversations face to face? There are those who will find it socially awkward to get up, get out and get on with people – hiding behind virtual reality the last few months, means normal social interaction has been limited for the vast majority. Teens are socially awkward as it is, they rely on their peers to get it right and without daily human contact, relying on emojis for emotional support, are they going to be OK? But I’m afraid even when they tentatively poke their toe back into the big, bad, world; they will find it has changed from the heady days pre- Covid19 when everyone was kissy and huggy. Masks have replaced smiles and people just don’t talk to each other in the same way anymore.

There is no practical solution, they are all in the same boat. Our wonderful teenagers – all fired up to change the world, have been dealt a dodgy deck. All we can do is be there for them, reassure them it will all be OK, tell them how proud we are of them - and hope against hope that normal teen behaviour resumes soon. Let’s hope so. Slamming doors and answering back would be a satisfying start.

© The Real Tilly Fairfax